The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. – Lamentations 3:22
The field, the road, the driveway were covered when I crept down the stairs in early morning dark. Dry white flakes drifted all morning long,
through devotions and breakfast battles and the big out-the-door rush. Slowly my own plans for the morning fell
apart – the roads looked bad and bundling the twins to pick up the sitter felt
like more than I could handle.
I don’t do well with that – the letting go and shifting of
agendas, the surrender of a planned escape. Fortunately it’s a move I’m privileged
to practice over and over again.
The snow finally stopped by late afternoon and the sun broke
out like a warm smile, so the twins and I headed out to investigate the
altered landscape. It was all there –
the natural beauty of white laid out, like powdered sugar coating
everything. The sky was blue, like it
hasn’t been for days this side of the New Year.
Then also, there was the joy of work, the fun of scraping the shovel
along the side-walk and driveway, the satisfaction of exertion that didn’t
involve the sink or laundry or sweeping the floors.
The twins – two three-year-olds with their hoods up and
mittens on, clomping and stomping along in their winter boots – were a joy to
behold. All morning long they ate snow
by the fire indoors, scooping it into their mouths from a cup I filled again
and again as they waited to go out and play.
Outside they shoveled railroad tracks across the driveway and turned a
little plastic mower into a snow blower.
Then they remembered snowballs and scooped up handfuls of
dried fluff to aim at my knees and shins.
Levi spun around in a full circle with every throw, not noticing the
snow had fallen before he even began.
Dry snow clung to my corduroys making bright white stripes against navy
blue.
I shoveled a path to the road for the older two coming home
later on the bus then, infiltrated by the cold, we walked back up the driveway
to head inside.
Blessing was there, the entire day, as it is every day and
the harder I clung to disappointment, the harder it was to find it. The deeper surrender set-in, the more I let
go of what might-have-been and sank into what was, the more I could sense blessing
hovering on the periphery like a small white dove.
I wanted it bad – wanted to feel the joy of God’s presence,
that falling-open and dropping into place that comes when I stand flat-footed
on the ground that’s solid, always, right where I am. Walking toward the garage, under the blue sky
and sun, I thought, “It’s almost there, but not quite” and for the briefest of
moments I was disappointed.
Then it seemed clear to me, clear like the light blue sky,
that it didn’t really matter.
The blessing of love and acceptance, of guidance and care
are there, always, whether I can feel it quite completely or not. The steadiness, consistency and presence of
God’s love is neither dependent on my awareness nor diminished by my
unawareness. And that, is no small wonder.
* * * *
Welcome, friends, to the #SmallWonder link-up.
What if we chose to deliberately look for the small moments of wonder, the small sparks of presence, of delight or sorrow, of true humanity in which we meet God?
That’s my proposal – that we would gather together here each week (or as often as we’re able) to share one moment of Wonder from each of our days.
You’re invited to link-up a brief post of about five hundred words or less about a Small moment of Wonder. Don’t worry if your post is too long, too short or not just right, you’re welcome to come as you are.
Looking for Unforced Rhythms? We’re a community in transition. We invite you to consider whether this new link-up meets your needs and to participate as you’re able.
While you’re here, please do take a look around and encourage at least one other blogger with a comment.
"The steadiness, consistency and presence of God’s love is neither dependent on my awareness nor diminished by my unawareness. And that, is no small wonder."
So glad this is true! Happy Monday! Good news! The groundhog did NOT see his shadow. Spring will come early this year. Haha!
Michelle, I heard Phil saw his shadow & forecasted another 6 weeks of winter. Good thing we are not dependent on the furry rodent for our weather 🙂
Loved this right here >> "The steadiness, consistency and presence of God’s love is neither dependent on my awareness nor diminished by my unawareness." He is always there with us. May He give me an awareness of Him always so I do not miss Him. Grateful to be here, Kelly. Thank you for sharing your words with us.
I had a morning like that today. After digging our minivan out of the snow I headed to pick up a friend and her son for co-op but the roads were so bad and my tires began to skid. I knew God was telling me to turn back but I fought it for awhile because I wanted to go…because someone elses schedule depended on me. Releasing the plan felt like the last day of school on a hot day in June. We came home and shifted gears. Kids are drawing and reading. My husband and I took a short nap on the couch. And now a late lunch. But we're all happy and warm and safe and I feel the gentle assurance of having done the right thing. It is well. Have a great week Kelly!
"Releasing" is the key word isn't it? So simple, but not at all easy. Thanks for being here, Lisha.
Kelly,
This: "The steadiness, consistency and presence of God’s love is neither dependent on my awareness nor diminished by my unawareness. And that, is no small wonder." Yes…Such Amazing Grace…I'm glad you and your kiddos were able to go and enjoy the snow and I understand that slow surrender of the best laid plans…peace and joy to you 🙂
Thankyou Dolly.
How beautiful to find the presence of God's love among a detour. I have a hard time also when my agenda gets bumped. I'm so thankful His love still tracks us down even amidst our disappointment, which He is more than capable of turning into an even purer joy. Thanks for sharing this, Kelly.
Sometimes, Lisa, I feel like life is more detour than anything else – at least in recent years. And yet I still have so much privilege that I probably don't realize in being able to choose how I live my life. Thanks for being here, Lisa.
"the harder I clung to disappointment, the harder it was to find it" … oh, wow, Kelly. Those words are grace!
Thanks Beth 🙂
I feel you just described my struggle, in many ways – even in moments during our road trip (where I got to" practice" these things, as you speak of) – to let go and shift agendas, to not cling to disappointment, to surrender to the moment with or without the feeling of joy or Presence with it. Your final words are absolutely full of wisdom, Kelly. It is no small wonder, indeed, that God's love is not dependent on our awareness nor diminished by its lack. I need to post that somewhere…
🙂 I guess in that way, Amber, life is a bit like a big road trip with someone else in the driver's seat! Keep practicing, friend 🙂
Snow. Kind of a winter invasion. So we have a choice to make. Love it or not. Look at how you changed the negative of interrupted schedule to the positive of God's love. You go! I love love the sentence "Fortunately it's a move I'm privileged to practice…" I am thinking you are someone who knows how to spin positive. Privilege. Yes. I really enjoyed reading this. Your writing is beautiful.
Thank you Janet. "Spin positive" I do it because I need it. I can be overly perfectionistic which leads to disappointment and rigidity, I'm learning to let go more, to relax. As a friend said once, "I'm working on being spontaneous." 🙂